Prayers: Check!

Literally all week these three things have been on my mind:
- Clean your room.
- Get a job.
- BLOG.
I've had this blog going for a while but I never realized how much I love doing it until I realized that I want people to see the real me, whatever me I'm hiding from the world is what I want people to see on here. Even if I am not really hiding anything about myself when I am out in the world, I think that there is always a part of me that is churning to get out, and it just won't. Just for that odd reason that I can not yet figure out yet. I think there's a part of me that some people have seen, (mostly talking about a few select friends back in Virginia, and most of the Work Crew) but I don't really show that to most people on the first meet & greet just because I think this would be their first reaction, "who the heck is this girl, and why is she acting this way?" I think when I'm around people I'm pretty much in love with, in the best way, I act totally myself because that me isn't afraid to be myself and be WEIRD. One thing I'm slightly struggling with is putting that girl out to the world, because that's the "me" that I love and that I wish everyone could see. It's the crazy Lily, not the shy, outspoken Lily. Now there's times where this weird me comes out, like in a couple of my classes I get that look from people that's like, "hmm.. there's something different about this girl, and I can't tell whether it's good, bad, or just plain old weird!" I'm glad that I'm slowly coming back to myself, I guess I'm just scared about what other people will think about me, especially in this new atmosphere.

Tonight, for the first time in a while, I got to hang out with some friends. Some old, some new. Usually when an opportunity like this comes about, I always find a way out of it. I always lie and say that my mom wants me home even though I know she could really care less. It's just that it's either a hit or miss with me, I'm going to be really shy, and I'm not going to know what to say and feel completely out of place.. or I will be the fun, out going girl I usually am. I got a little alone time before hanging out with these kids so I just talked to God and flat out said, "I'm tired of not having a social life anymore God, I want to be fun, I want to be me. Don't let me hold anything back!" And just like that, God answered my prayers. I'm glad to say I could finally be myself without having to be around people that I know I can be myself around, or without having alcohol or drugs around. It brings me so much joy that the Lord has such different plans for me, and that I can totally see Him forming this amazing path for my life. (Even though some parts may definitely be rocky, I know He's got a plan, and that's what keeps me content when I even think about worrying.)

I guess I just wanted to share that, just because it really showed me that God is still there, even when I'm not reading or praying as much as I should be. It taught me that God can really do anything, and that nothing is impossible for Him, even with the smallest things. I believe this so much because I can honestly see myself being so shy tonight, especially with the people I was with.. and I wasn't! God. Is. So. Great. Enough said!


"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." -Matthew 6:33-34
Lay it all out at his feet. Flat out talk to Him, He is listening and He always will be!

Most apologies for the longer post.. I guess I just got a little excited :)
Happy Sunday :)

No Stress

Life is too short. Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can. Apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forgive quickly. Take chances, give everything and have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy. You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad. Love what you got and always remember what you had. Always forgive but never forget. Learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change, and things go wrong but always remember life goes on.

Sitting here stuck in an airport, reading that, made me really content. It didn't make me happy that I'm sitting here bored out of my mind, anxious knowing wether or no I will make it on my next flight. But I'm content. Content with my life and I am assuring myself (or should I say God is assuring me?) that He will always provide something else for me. If something doesn't work out, something else will. And that's all I have for right about now.

Accepting the Fact of Growing Up

I mean can you believe we'll already be driving soon? (fellow sophomores, that is.) It's scary to think that we are already done with Driver's Ed and halfway through the year. Next thing we'll be driving cute little cars to school junior year. I'm scared, aren't you? Of reality. Of growing up, of change. God tells us not to worry, and to pray to Him and let it all in His hands. Do all of us do that? No, in reality we try to and we try and pray, but when we pray, most of us are just asking for His guidance, not even that! We're just asking for things that we want. We all do it. I was reading and came across one of Jesus' disciples who was continually just asking God for things in his life. God got to the point where He said to him, "stop praying." This dawned on me, stop praying? Then I thought, we have to thank Him sometimes too. One of the things I lack is being thankful for what I have. I want to realize that I won't have what I have for long, and what I do have is something speacial. So I, scratch that, WE need to live it up. (and can't you "live it up" without drugs, sex and alcohol? I know I can, and so can you) Be thankful for what you have. Thank God, thank your parents. And watch yourself grow up, in slow, patient time. Never rush a thing. Live like you're going to die tomorrow, love like it's your last chance, and laugh with your middle school best friend again. Rememer the good times, and look forward to new ones. Be a teenager forever, never grow up.

It's Time to Realize

 As of now, life is good, right? You've got friends, you've got family, you have all you want, and/or need. Being in this "thankful" time of Thanksgiving, it has made me realize that people really don't know or acknowledge what they are thankful for. Once you really think about how much you have, compared to others, it really opens your eyes. I have so much, that just once child would kill to have. To live a lifestyle like my friends and I, we really do have it good. We don't usually take the time to think about all the things we have, and this is why I am thankful that there is a time (Thanksgiving, of course) where people can come together and talk about what they are thankful for. I am so thankful to have amazing people in my life that know me, and really me, not someone who I am trying to be. I am thankful for the home and food that my parents provide for me, and I know they would provide till the last dime. I am thankful for all my peers and leaders, who I know would never betray me, and who I know trust and believe in me. It's time to realize all that you have and all that you're thankful for... Thanksgiving is a great time to think about such things, and a great time to come together with family and have fun. So.... What are you thankful for?